LYRICS/CREDITS

SELF DEFENSE

i don’t know why
but i’m feeling
okay for now
got my friends’ names
on the ceiling
it helps calm me down

wrong reaction
not the lesson
i tend to overreact
i got too strong
i got too good
at self defense

take advantage of the feeling
lean into it
do the dishes
write some songs before
it all turns to shit

wrong reaction
not the lesson
i tend to overreact
i got too strong
i got too good
at self-defense

but all this trying and all this time
may have finally turned into something nice
so come on charlie, call me back
i’m a mile away, i’m a heart attack

yeah all this trying and all this time
may have finally turned into something nice
so come on charlie, call me back
i’m a mile away, i’m a heart attack

alex schaaf - guitar, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
joey hays - bass, drums
mickey mahoney - bass

RANGER

just before I opened up
you went through all my stuff
looking for something you lost
my ranger she sits outside
but you won’t accept a ride
something about how much it cost

later you met my friends
for some reason you shook their hands
afterwards you wouldn’t speak
something’s outta whack
i’m trying the best I can
but I can’t tell if its you or me

should I be a bit more dramatic?
throw a book and scream I have had it?

oh just come and stay at my place
and tell me all about
what you do with your days
i wanna know, I wanna know
oh just come and stay at my place
i’ll tell you all about
what I do with my days
if you wanna know if you wanna know

i tried a simple life
i tried to quantify
just exactly what I need
but you came in with the storm
i saw I was misinformed
maybe there’s other ways to be

should I be a bit more dramatic?
throw a book and scream I have had it?

oh just come and stay at my place
and tell me all about
what you do with your days
i wanna know, I wanna know
oh just come and stay at my place
i’ll tell you all about
what I do with my days
if you wanna know if you wanna know

alex schaaf - guitar, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
joey hays - drums
mickey mahoney - bass

AMERICAN SPIRITS

by the time I figured it out
you were back across the state
stayin at your parents’ house
i knew by then it was too late

i thought you had winked
i thought you had smiled
i thought it was a joke
but it was american spirits
blown in your eye
you said i’m ugly when I smoke
and I thought it was a joke

by the time I figured it out
You were miles ahead at least
why’d you have to leave right then?
before you told me what it means?

i thought you were playing
stretching the truth
i thought it was a joke
but now I can see
what this looks like to you
and i’m hungry for a smoke

i thought you had winked
i thought you had smiled
i thought it was a joke
but it was american spirits
blown in your eye
you said i’m ugly when i…

alex schaaf - guitar, piano, bass, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
joey hays - drums
mickey mahoney - production
hilary james - cello
SURROUNDED
say it to me loudly
give it to me straight or not at all
am I making a mistake
if I was being honest
this is not the easiest of calls
but I don’t wanna wait

if this is how it is
a story with a shaky premise
i’ll do the best I can
but baby, I think we’re surrounded

don’t you want it to be
something you remember as a gift
even if it didn’t last
i can’t be the only one
trying to preserve an ounce of love
even if our time has passed

if this is how it is
a story with a shaky premise
i’ll do the best I can
but baby, I think we’re surrounded

alex schaaf - guitar, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
joey hays - drums
mickey mahoney - bass

I WANNA BELIEVE

Remember your birthday last year
everyone was dancing, we had two different kegs of beer
but you were in some other room
talkin to some stranger, at least someone you barely knew

Remember how I tried to say
something about our future, you were watching the wolves game
back then they weren’t yet in their prime
but you still wouldn’t listen, you said now’s not the greatest time

I should believe what I see
i should believe what I hear
when it’ s in front of me
but I wanna believe
that this is much better than evidence shows it to be

Should believe what I see
i should believe what I hear
when it’s in front of me
but I wanna believe
that this is much better, that I can deserve something sweet

Remember how it always felt
not just all the highlights
not the ones up on the shelf
Look further below, right down there
that’s where i’ve been living
thats what I used to think was fair

I should believe what I see
i should believe what I hear
when its in front of me
but I wanna believe
that this is much better than evidence shows it to be

Should believe what I see
i should believe what I hear
when it’s in front of me
but I wanna believe
that this is much better, that I can deserve something sweet


alex schaaf - guitar, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
joey hays - drums
mickey mahoney - bass
syd casey - vocals

THAT AIN’T ME BABE

give what you can
i’ll be the man
oh I can play that part for you
if thats you want
just lie in my arms
ill try my best to make it true

if you want, if you want
i’ll try a little harder
lift some weights
get a day job
but I dont, I dont know
how far to really wander
cause that aint me
that aint me babe

i wanted to show
that I could control
i could be just like the other guys
or what I could guess
from watching the rest
i learned it all with my own eyes

if you want, if you want
i’ll be as strong as ever
resolute as a brick wall
but I dont, I dont know
how far to really wander
cause that aint me
that aint me babe

if you want, if you want
well I dont know if I do
why is it me and not you
and I dont, I dont know
how far to really wander
cause that aint me
that aint me babe

alex schaaf - piano, guitar, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar, organ, synth
joey hays - drums
mickey mahoney - bass
syd casey - guitar, vocals

CONSTANT ALIBI

it’s so hard to quantify
i don’t know the reasons why
he’s enough for me, he’s all i’ll ever need
you wouldn’t know to look at him
he’s kinda got a stupid grin
but it works for me, its something I believe

i just assumed i’d never draw an eye
had all the reasons why I shouldn’t try
but he’s the real thing, he’s my constant alibi

in front of all our friends
he came up and held my hand
it was natural, something anyone could see
so bring on the rest of it
i’m ready to dig in
cause this works for me, yeah it’s something I believe

i just assumed i’d never draw an eye
had all the reasons why I shouldn’t try
gave up my seat preparing to resign
but he’s the real thing, he’s my constant alibi

alex schaaf - guitar, fidget spinner, guitar hero controller, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
mickey mahoney - bass

FANTASY

I thought that was out of line
what you wrote to me
you took a thought of mine
and you turned it mean
its the same old game, back again
and I know you don’t think you did anything

but oh, there’s no convincing
oh, I think I was innocent
oh, you can stay here if you want
but i’m goin home

If this is what it takes
to get us to stop
i’ll play the enemy
even though i’m not
no one else would say I was wrong
so you know I don’t think I did anything

but oh, there’s no convincing
oh, you think you’re innocent
oh, you can stay here if you want
but i’m goin home

as long as we both know that this is not
an accurate reason why
its just our convenient fantasy
its a harmless little lie

but oh, there’s not a villain
oh, I think we’re innocent
oh, if you wanna catch a ride
well i’m goin home

alex schaaf - guitar, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
joey hays - drums
mickey mahoney - bass

SYLVIA

But sylvia
i can’t say it to your face
would you leave the room
or call me from another place
i’m gonna write things down
its the only way
if I can take my time
you’re gonna see
if I can get the phrase right
it would open up the whole world to me
the whole world to me

But sylvia
I appreciate all you said
now off you go
i’ll text you when you’re in bed
i’m gonna write things down
so you don’t forget
the version of me
that was in your bed last night
could not be bothered
to tell the truth
about anything
about anything

i’m trying to improve
i’m trying to reform
i’m trying to be something you’d stand
it’s weird how it seems
like you don’t quite believe
that this is the wisest of plans
gimme something I
gimme something i
gimme something I can hold onto
or even better don’t, let’s try something new

yeah sylvia
maybe i’m doing this all wrong
i’m wising up
i won’t even put out this song

alex schaaf - guitar, piano, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
joey hays - bass, drums
mickey mahoney - bass

UP TO MY NECK

drift away, cut me off, turn me down
another face, another life, knock me out
said I was fine, said I was good
when you asked me how I was
i meant it more than I thought I would
maybe that’s what distance does

its not that I think we should stay together
its just impossible to leave
i don’t know how to go find something better
i’m up to my neck in it

there’s no debate among our friends - its gotta stop
but what if we could be the first to figure it out
i took a date to our spot, and I ordered something new
tried to connect, tried to relate, but all I could think about was you

its not that I think we should stay together
its just impossible to leave
i don’t know how to go find something better
i’m up to my neck in it
i’m up to my neck in it
i’m up to my neck in it

alex schaaf - guitar, bass, ebow, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
joey hays - drums

NO VILLAINS

tell me it wasn’t right
tell me you cheated daily on me
each time a different guy
describe it to me til I get dizzy

the slush is a couple feet
the lakes are melting and I still want you
just help me get on my feet
say something to me that you don’t want to

cause I need something to blame
to put this feeling away
cause if there’s no reason to stop we’re dragging it out
yeah I need someone to hate
it’s not quite working this way
cause if there’s no reason to stop we’re dragging it out

just tell me you hate my dog
something so cruel that i’ve no choice but
to start to move this along
take down your art and call my friends up

cause I need something to blame
to put this feeling away
cause if there’s no reason to stop we’re dragging it out
yeah I need someone to hate
it’s not quite working this way
cause if there’s no reason to stop we’re dragging it out
we’re dragging it out
we’re dragging it out

or just tell me the truth
its not an argument thats worth winning
nothing that we could do
unfortunately there are no villains

alex schaaf - guitar, piano, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar
joey hays - bass, drums
mickey mahoney - bass

RUN IT DRY

take a little bit
take a little bit of my heart
to keep it safe
maybe from the sides
maybe from the top, I don’t care
its all the same

cause all I have is out of date
start all over, my clean slate
wipe the data, turn the leaf
empty my estate, throw it all away

cause i’m not saving
i’m not saving anything
for another time
cause what’s the difference
what’s the difference anyways
i’m gonna run it dry

take whatever’s left
take whatever’s left
give it to someone else
i don’t really care
cause this is not my body
and this is not my house

cause all I have is out of touch
tried its best but had enough
weigh it down and shove it off
a viking funeral, shoot the arrows

cause i’m not saving
i’m not saving anything
for another time
cause what’s the difference
what’s the difference anyways
i’m gonna run it dry

alex schaaf - guitar, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar, piano
joey hays - drums
mickey mahoney - bass

MUSCLE MEMORY (ALT)

And i’m off my shift and i’m driving home
and i’m feeling tired, i’m feeling old
and before I know it i’m on your street
and i’m at your door, I still got my key
i apologize, this isn’t what it seems
i’m not in control, its just muscle memory

I deleted everything just in time
kept the silence up, never crossed that line
except for last week when I sent that note
i just wanted to show you a thing I wrote
i apologize, this isn’t what it seems
i’m not in control, its just muscle memory

wanna grab your hand wanna taste your mouth
wanna tell you everything I think now
wanna take that trip to new mexico
wanna call you up, bring you to a show
i apologize, this isn’t what it seems
i’m not in control, its just muscle memory

and i’m getting close and i’m crying out
and my lips they form a familiar sound
but I close the door before more escapes
and my lip pours blood all over my face
i apologize, this isn’t what it seems
i’m not in control, its just muscle memory

i know its not mine and it never was
but I want it now, and I miss your touch
and the only thing I can think to say
is i’m sorry now, that its gone away
i apologize, this isn’t what it seems
i’m not in control, its just muscle memory

alex schaaf - guitar, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar, piano
joey hays - drums
mickey mahoney - bass

3AM

it’s 3am and i’m alive
a little more than I would like
i’m up, i’m over it
i’m on the edge of innocence
i’m trying to convince
this restless mind of ours

won’t you try to relate
don’t you ever feel this way?
like you can’t slow yourself down

it’s 3AM, i’m running back
every single fact
that proves i’m unloveable
i know it’s just the lack of sleep
but its still hard to see
how things will turn around

so won’t you try to relate
don’t you ever feel this way?
yeah won’t you try to relate?
like you can’t slow yourself down

alex schaaf - guitar, piano, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar, organ, synth
joey hays - drums
hilary james - cello

written + produced by Yellow Ostrich
recorded January-May 2025
drum tracking by Holly Hansen at Salon Sonics
additional tracking at the Birdhaus
mixed by Nat Harvie
mastered by Alec Ness
artwork + layout by Alex Schaaf

Alex Schaaf - guitar, piano, bass, percussion, vocals
noa dayton francis - guitar, organ, synth, piano
Joey Hays - drums, bass
Mickey Mahoney - bass
Syd Casey - guitar, vocals
Hilary James - cello